HOW TO RECOGNISE INDIANS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ???

TEN EASY WAYS TO RECOGNISE "INDIANS" IN THIS WORLD :

1) They will ITCH on various parts of their body (censored) in public places ...
and when u ask them "what are you doing" ....
Most common reply : "yar ye body parts thode air tight hai " (seaapa)
God please tell them difference between Food containers(air-tight) and body parts.

2)They won't eat anything throughout the day because ....
they have to on a marriage in the Evening .
( bhai shagun ke paise bhi to poore karne hai ..... seaapa )

3)In a marriage , if they are standing in the last (in a row to get food) ...
they will constantly find ways to get ahead of the people standing in front of them.
(Example gattu standing last in que and gupta ji at first position.. now see what gattu will do)

Gattu: gupta ji .... gupta ji ... gupta ji kya haal hai ?? (in full volume)
gupta ji (by-chance listens and replies) : haan mai theek hoon .. tum kaise ho ??
Gattu : kya.. kya.. acha acha..aage aa jaun..acha aa raha hoon
(leaves row and goes in front ..seaapa)

4)They will FART in the most crowded places & to pretend they didn't do it ...
and they will be the first ones to ask "Kaun tha ye ? "

5) Indian women will go to LOO once every two hours .

6) When Indians go to buy something (for the first time in their life say a CAR) ..
how they try to take discount (conversation between salesguy and Gattu).

Gattu: o ji aap kuch kamm karo ..
hum to harr 6 months mai Gaadi badal lete hai ...
aage bhi aapse hi leni hai ....aur lee bhi hai ...
humaare sharma ji and mehta ji bhi yehi se le ke gaye thhe
(god knows how many sharma and mehta's are there in this world)...
Aapko to humain Free deni chahiye hahahahaha(as if the cracked a
big joke)

7) Favourite Dialogue in bargaining "Theek theek laga lo do le lenge"
(chahe doosri chahiye bhi na ho but just to get the discount they will take two)

8) They will always Lie in Trains about their child's age ... just to pay half for his ticket .
( parent: T T sahab iski sirf height hi Badi hai hai to ye under 8 hi abhi )

9) They listen to the insult of their fellow Indians with great interest and also laugh at it loudly
(just as you are doing right now ) (seaapa)

10) Look at youself ... Koi na Koi baat aisi to tum main bhi hai ...
( lolz .. guys it good to laugh at youself as well )

Cheenti aur Haathi

Question 1: what is the similarity between cheenti and haathi ???
tell tell gopi tell tell ....
socho socho
think think
.
.
.
.
.
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Answer : They both are not Dogs ( Seaaapa )

Question 2: why do cheenti and haathi use "ji" when they talk to each other ???

think think
socho yar
yar ab harr ek cheez main hi bataun ....
.
.
.
.
Answer : Because they both are on Gtalk (ji talk) .... ( ganda tha na ye )

Question 3: Haathi and Cheenti were playing hide and seek ... haathi was hiding but was never found .... why ??????

Don't think like a common man ....
arrey thoda dimaag lagao yaar ....
.
.
.
.
.
Answer : KYONKI when haathi was hiding cheenti ki mummy ne usse awaaz lagai and ghar wapis bula liya so haathi pakda hi nahi gaya ...


Question 4 : Once a Haathi fell in a river ... (sad) ... How will he come out ???

think
think
think .... boat se ... nahi
think .... saara paani pee ke ... nahi
think .... usse mermaid chodd jayegi ... nahi
.
.
.
.
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Answer : Haathi fell in a river .. how will he come out .... simple ... Geela ho ke ... ( seaapa )

A story untold.... (for all those who have fallen in love)

Please read as if i m narrating it to you with expressions and voice modulation.

People say when you are in love u tend to be happy even when the sitaution is grim. u laugh at even the worst jokes said by the other person. u feel u have evrything. same was the case with GATTU (u remember him ..don't u). Gattu had a simple life. he worked in Punjab Power (lighting up your life). he went to a marriage and fell in love with a girl at first sight whoose name was Mahinder but it was the same girl who was getting married. As we know Bhagwan ko jo manzoor hai (Bhagwan is director of movie) wohi hoga so Gattu and Mahinder ki shaadi ho gayi.

But shaadi ke baad pata lagta hai ke Ladki to Zabardast DIARRHEA ki bimaari hai(kahani mai twist) and uske liye usse ek mahine tak roz doctor ke pass jana hai (background song: haule haule ho jayega bimaar baliye ... haule haule ho jayega bimaar). jis doctor ke paas wo jaati hai usi se Mahinder ko pyar ho jaata hai. tabhi sheher mai Diarrhea competition ki announcement hoti hai and doctor and mahinder uski teyaari mai din raat bathroom mai baithe rehte hai ... and udhar Gattu sara din office main and shaam ko baathroom saaf karne mai nikaal deta hai .

(New twist) ek din baathroom saaf karte karte gattu ka pair fisal jaata hai and tap uske sirr(head) pe lagti hai and he becomes a patient of short term memory loss and udhar uski biwi ki maut ho jaati hai (bathroom ki badboo se). but gattu only remembers ki uski biwi ko Diarrrhea tha so he thinks ke uski biwi ka khoon Diarrhea ne kiya hai. in order to remember that he goes to Gym and makes a good physique and writes on his chest DIARRHEA. he becomes obsessed with it and starts searching for it everywhere. one day he comes to know that before dying his wife gave birth to a child (don't know how and please don't ask as well). meanwhile gattu searches for Diarrhea everywhere the child grows (with the help of supporting cast). when the child reaches the age of ten he comes to know that he is suffering from DYSLEXIA but gattu forgets this and thinks that his child suffers from Diarrhea and leaves his child in hostel and goes away. when gattu goes to hill station to drop his son he eats lots of Junk food over there and because of this he suffers from Diarrhea and gattu realises his mistake . he soon realizes that Diarrhea lies within you and takes his son back home and they live happily ever after.

MORAL OF STORY-

• Love makes you suffer from Diarrhea and soon u realize u have a son who is Dyslexic.
• DIARRHEA :: until and unless u experience it you wont know it what it is.
• excess of Aamir and shahrukh movies is bad.
• i love this blog (lolz).

Do choose the best moral and write it in comments with your feedback and i m going to sell this amazing love story to Aditya Mehra Johar Bansaali (combo of Aditya chopra , om prakash mehra, karan johar, sanjay leela bansaali) .

Some aspects of daily life that haven't been touched till now ...

Firstly i would like to introduce a lovely character about whom you will read a lott in times to come only on my BLOG---> "GATTU" .. ji haan Gattu .. Gaur farmaiyega .. Gattu ne aapki Zindgi ko kahi na kahi Zaroor Chua hai ... to lijiye pesh karte hai GATTUUUU
Question:
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai. So he goes to the canteen. Canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai.Jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.
To Khan sahab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai?

Answer ::: think think think : don't give me a common man's answer
........

The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon.


Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon""Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....

Question 2:
What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
NO it's definately not what you are thinking ....


Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

Good Old Fashioned Shayri ...(with twist by Sahil)

Sahil - Zara Gaur Farmaiyega khan sahab ...

Audience - irshaad irshaad ...

Sahil - shukriya shukriya ... haanji khan sahab to main keh raha tha ...

Kutta ... Kutta .. ( son of DOG ) ... but sirf paaltu ...
Kutta marr gaya rajai mai ....

Audience - wah wah wah wah ...

Sahil - shukriya shukriya

Kutta marr gaya rajai maiiiiiiiiiiii .....
main pagal ho gaya uski Judai main .....

Audience - oye hoye kya baat hai .. kya gehrai hai shayri main ..

Sahil -
Kutta marr gaya rajai maiiiiiiiiiiii .....
main pagal ho gaya uski Judai main .....
Samose (only aallo waale) reh gaye kadhai mai ...
mera dost (vicky) pitt gaya apni hi sagai mai ...
kaash mera koi Rishtedaar hota TRAI mai ...
aur kuch to baat hai kharab Ras-malai mai ... (varna sunny goel usse kyon khaata)
Mat Karna MBA mere yaaron ....
Mat Karna MBA mere yaaron ....( Dard dekhiye)
Varna Ummar(age) nikal jayegi uski EMI ki bharpai main ...

Audience - wah wah ... dil ko chhu liya ...

sahil-
matt pehen na gandi chaddi ...
matt pehen na gandi chaddi ...
varna poora dinn nikal jayega khujai main ...
aur kya rakha hai chaarpai mai ....
aur kya rakha hai chaarpai mai ....
meri to Jean fass gayi apni hi Tie main ....

audience - once more once more

Sahil -
Baaki ka next Blog main...shukriya shukriya..kya kehte hai aap usse English mai
"Thank you Thank you and please write comments after reading"

SHUKLA = GUPTA

HOW TO PROOVE EVERY SHUKLA = GUPTA ???

According to Ravi kumar (placement incharge of ICFAI):
With reference to final result notified for India Infoline Ltd., please read "Rajesh Kumar Shukla" in place of "Rajesh Kumar Gupta". Sorry for inconvenience.

what is the inference ::: think think think ....... dont give me a common man's answer ...

well according to above statement:
Rajesh Kumar Shukla = Rajesh Kumar Gupta

• cancelling rajesh & kumar from both sides

therefore, Shukla = Gupta

Hence, Prooved ....